OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
