kristin has been a bad kristin
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
