Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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