is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
