the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
