sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
