You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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