Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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