You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
