If that was your dad, he is hot
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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