i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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