You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she peed on how many people?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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