Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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