Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
