I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
