Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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