I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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