I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
where are my eyebrows?
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