How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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