Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
