What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize