btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
two words: eviction party
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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