i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
