Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
