There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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