the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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