Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
