new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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