I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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