Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
