You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize