The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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