the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
