he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
