so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
