Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
