It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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