I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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