he thought i was a dude.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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