well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
