Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
