i just had sex bonerless
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
