i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize