Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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