Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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