Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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