he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
