I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
