he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
try to milk me bitch
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