Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
