Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize