OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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