You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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