I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
