so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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