Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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