Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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