I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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