I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
