What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
