pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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