if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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