I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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