are you so shy because you have an std?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
