DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
