John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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