1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
