member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
