I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
